Every year, about this time, I find myself in the same quandary, at a metaphoric crossroads where I feel the opportunities for change are high. Each year I ask myself do I want to work harder at making a “real” go at game design and working in the game industry, devote my time to writing, or explore other things, pursue other interests? From here, I am going to ramble a bit, giving you a glimpse at the inner workings of my mind, and helping me clarify my thoughts…
I am not good at multi-tasking, and even if I was, I don’t think it is a good move to split energy between different creative pursuits, until I have really achieved what I want from at least one of them. At the moment, I feel exhausted. This feeling may be in part because I am suffering from a nasty tummy bug that has been harrassing my family for a week, but that ain’t all of it. Last year was a big year for my gaming endeavors – it was the second year of Here Be Gamers, I helped out with Uprising in Brisbane, continued to work with Every Gamers Guild and wrote about a dozen games of varying proportions. I even got some games in, but not as many as I would have liked.
This is one of the things I want to fix. I want to play more games, hopefully with more people. My playing has dropped to something like once every three weeks, which is outrageously poor for me, and has a flow on effect for Here Be Gamers. Playing games makes me excited about games. At the moment I don’t feel very excited about games or the show, and this frustrates me, and makes me sad.
I am also looking to strike a better work-life-hobby balance, because at the moment it is all screwed up and the “life” part is coming a distant third. My gaming interests, particularly game design, can take up more than 25 hours a week. That is ridiculous. As I am writing this, I can’t believe it, but 4 hours a night is not unusual for me. Well, was not unusual for me, until I found myself kind of burnt out.
So what’s my “big picture” plan? More games, less game design, more family activities, and trying new things. I have an inkling that I will do more miniature gaming, because the preparation and painting of figures is something I can do while sitting with the family and talking with them, rather than hiding away in front of the computer. I would like to do more (fiction) writing, but that will be once other things get on track. What does this mean for Peril Planet? I am not really sure. What does this mean for Here Be Gamers? More episodes, more often. What does this mean for me? Hopefully feeling more relaxed and spending more quality time with the people around me.
Well, that is quite a new year resolution, isn’t it. Let’s see how it all turns out.